Dear Momma,
I see you. I see you afraid and alone and desperate. I see you feeling like you have nowhere to go. No one to wrap their arms around you and tell you that it is going to be okay. I've been there. Scared. Ashamed. Desperate to be free from the weight and the impossibility of the path lying in front of me. Isolated and terrified and unable to face tomorrow...much less the reality of devoting the next 20 years of my life to providing for another human.
I have felt the suffocating weight of disappointing the ones I so desperately wanted to please, though I failed over and over. I have contended with the idea that the life I was carrying inside of me would legitimately be better off terminated than born into any kind of world I could provide. I have felt the shame and the scorn and contempt. I know the fear that keeps you up at night, trying to imagine your future when every outcome seems absolutely unbearable. I have felt choked by hopelessness and shame and despair.
But beneath all of that was the faintest of hint of desire...expectation even. The slimmest thread of expectancy that what was to come might not be shameful or disgraceful...but good. Beautiful even.
Not just okay. Beautiful. The truth pushing against despair...that little life inside of you, it could redeem you in ways you did not believe were possible. If you allow it, God will use that tiny life to breathe life into your broken places.
I know. I walked that broken, beautiful road to redemption. It was terrifying. It demanded more of me than I had to give but it brought beauty and humility and compassion and joy in measures that flooded out the despair and washed hope and grace into my faltering steps.
If you are standing on this ledge. If you are measuring the gap between despair and hope...please choose hope. There is beauty on the other side - more than you can ever imagine! And here is my pledge. Here is where the rubber meets the road. I will walk this with you. Personally. And if I cannot, I will find someone who can. I will speak hope and life. I will pray with you and for you and for that precious child who is going to bring light and beauty to this world, to your world. I will love you and your beautiful child. I will believe in you and your unique ability to parent the child that God gifted to you. I will fight for you. I will fight with you. You. Are. Not. Alone. My phone number is 217-652-0952. You can call or text. I will answer. You are not alone.
