Connected

We are forgetting how to connect with each other.  My family, that is.

I mean everyone, really. . .but when we are sitting in the living room, all of us together and close, heads bent over glowing screens, near enough to touch but in completely different worlds, that is where it makes my heart pause.

Lately, in our house, I have noticed more and more of this.  More and more disconnect.  Now, I am not anti-technology, or even anti social media.  I realize it is here to stay, and I think it can be a phenomenal tool.   The Ranch has benefited greatly from social networking online, and as a chronic Facebook over-sharer, I am personally enslaved to fond of keeping up with friends and sharing photos of the kids with Grandma and Grandpa online.

Still, I wonder how many deep, heart conversations I have missed out on with my kids because they were, or I was, too engrossed in a news feed or whatever is trending on Twitter.  I wonder how many moments I have brushed off one of the Littles without even realizing it and I won't even approach the reality of how much time I could be spending in the Word and in prayer if I shut down my phone and spent half of the time on the internet. . .

But that's another blog, and one that has been written times over. . .because, well, we are all feeling this overloaded, over stimulated, over connected disconnect in our lives.

So, Stephen and I are taking some steps to battle this.  Rather than changing the wi-fi password (which we strongly considered and may still revert to), one of the things we are doing is to simply challenge our kids, and ourselves, to choose to connect.  To put some flesh on this, we came up with a list of 40 ways they might do that and challenged them to choose at least 3 things off of that list a week.  (I thought it should be 5, but Steve always says I'm excessive.  Go figure.)  Some of these are simple and take only a moment.  Some require a bit of effort and preparation.  I pray all of them will nurture the face to face, real life, soul filling connection that our over-saturated lives are starving for!

Here is our list:
(In our family with so many kids and such a wide age-range, the youngest four - ranging in age from 3-11) have bee affectionately dubbed the Littles.  Much of this list reflects our desire for our older kids (the Bigs) to pour into the lives of their younger siblings.)

1.  Do Sunday School homework with the Littles.

2.  Crochet with them

3.  Play a game with someone(s)

4.  Do a craft with the girls

5.  Read a book with the Littles

6.  Paint the little girl's finger and toenails

7.  Invite someone(s) to go for a walk

8.  Ask someone about their day, and then really listen to their answer

9.  Play an instrument with one of the Littles

10.  Help with homework, or quiz them on math facts or sight words

11.  Leave your phone in your room for 1 hour

12.  Ask someone to go ride (do this for the Littles or with someone else)

13. Build a fire and make hot chocolate for the family

14. Bake cookies or invite one of the Littles to cook with you

15. Take someone(s) out for coffee or ice cream.  (Hint:  We'd probably pay)

15. Plan a date night with someone in the family

16. Have a photo shoot with the Littles

17. Make goofy videos with the Littles

18. Spend  2 minutes listening intently to whatever someone wants to talk about

19. Spend 2 minutes sharing about your day with someone

20. Whatch a "What's in the Bible" video with the Littles then discuss it with them

21. Color with a Little

22. Write a note of encouragement for someone in the family

23. Help a Little write a note to someone and mail it

24. Call a grandparent just to chat

25. Take a Little to visit a grandparent

26. Offer to do an extra chore, or simply do something extra that you see needs done.

27. Offer to do someone else's chore for them or with them

28. Jump on the trampoline with the Littles for half an hour

29. Paint a picture with a Little

30. Read the Bible with a Little

31. Hug someone

32. Tell someone something you appreciate about them

33. Build a fort with the Littles (and clean it up)

34. Practice spelling with the Littles with Scrabble tiles

35. Build Legos with a Little

36. Trim their toenails (this was Dad's idea)

37. Do a puzzle with someone(s)

38. Grab a Little and commit a random act of kindness together

39. Stargaze with someone

40. Initiate a pillow fight

Also, the irony of sharing about this issue via a blog is never lost on me.  Baby steps! 

What about you?  I'd love to hear your ideas to add to the list!?  What creative efforts do you and your family employ to combat this in your home?