I mean everyone, really. . .but when we are sitting in the living room, all of us together and close, heads bent over glowing screens, near enough to touch but in completely different worlds, that is where it makes my heart pause.
Lately, in our house, I have noticed more and more of this. More and more disconnect. Now, I am not anti-technology, or even anti social media. I realize it is here to stay, and I think it can be a phenomenal tool. The Ranch has benefited greatly from social networking online, and as a chronic Facebook over-sharer, I am personally
Still, I wonder how many deep, heart conversations I have missed out on with my kids because they were, or I was, too engrossed in a news feed or whatever is trending on Twitter. I wonder how many moments I have brushed off one of the Littles without even realizing it and I won't even approach the reality of how much time I could be spending in the Word and in prayer if I shut down my phone and spent half of the time on the internet. . .
But that's another blog, and one that has been written times over. . .because, well, we are all feeling this overloaded, over stimulated, over connected disconnect in our lives.
So, Stephen and I are taking some steps to battle this. Rather than changing the wi-fi password (which we strongly considered and may still revert to), one of the things we are doing is to simply challenge our kids, and ourselves, to choose to connect. To put some flesh on this, we came up with a list of 40 ways they might do that and challenged them to choose at least 3 things off of that list a week. (I thought it should be 5, but Steve always says I'm excessive. Go figure.) Some of these are simple and take only a moment. Some require a bit of effort and preparation. I pray all of them will nurture the face to face, real life, soul filling connection that our over-saturated lives are starving for!
Here is our list:
(In our family with so many kids and such a wide age-range, the youngest four - ranging in age from 3-11) have bee affectionately dubbed the Littles. Much of this list reflects our desire for our older kids (the Bigs) to pour into the lives of their younger siblings.)
1. Do Sunday School
homework with the Littles.
2. Crochet with them
3. Play a game with
someone(s)
4. Do a craft with
the girls
5. Read a book with
the Littles
6. Paint the little
girl's finger and toenails
7. Invite someone(s)
to go for a walk
8. Ask someone about
their day, and then really listen to their answer
9. Play an instrument
with one of the Littles
10. Help with
homework, or quiz them on math facts or sight words
11. Leave your phone
in your room for 1 hour
12. Ask someone to go
ride (do this for the Littles or with someone else)
13. Build a fire and make hot chocolate for the family
14. Bake cookies or invite one of the Littles to cook with
you
15. Take someone(s) out for coffee or ice cream. (Hint:
We'd probably pay)
15. Plan a date night with someone in the family
16. Have a photo shoot with the Littles
17. Make goofy videos with the Littles
18. Spend 2 minutes
listening intently to whatever someone wants to talk about
19. Spend 2 minutes sharing about your day with someone
20. Whatch a "What's in the Bible" video with the
Littles then discuss it with them
21. Color with a Little
22. Write a note of encouragement for someone in the family
23. Help a Little
write a note to someone and mail it
24. Call a grandparent just to chat
25. Take a Little to
visit a grandparent
26. Offer to do an
extra chore, or simply do something extra that you see needs done.
27. Offer to do
someone else's chore for them or with them
28. Jump on the trampoline with the Littles for half an hour
29. Paint a picture with a Little
30. Read the Bible with a Little
31. Hug someone
32. Tell someone something you appreciate about them
33. Build a fort with the Littles (and clean it up)
34. Practice spelling with the Littles with Scrabble tiles
35. Build Legos with a Little
36. Trim their toenails (this was Dad's idea)
37. Do a puzzle with someone(s)
38. Grab a Little and commit a random act of kindness
together
39. Stargaze with someone
40. Initiate a pillow fight
Also, the irony of sharing about this issue via a blog is never lost on me. Baby steps!
What about you? I'd love to hear your ideas to add to the list!? What creative efforts do you and your family employ to combat this in your home?
Hey guys...we, as a family, have been wanting to connect the most we can as well. so we have thought about this a bunch. First, we are parents, so we model modesty on the tech, and mandate what our kids can and cant do. Second, lots of dates with my girls (daddy dates are super important for them). Third, i share a hobbie with my kids, gives me time to connect creatively, intellectually and in a fun with with them. Four, we visit peoples houses a lot and pray with them, super cool way to connect with your kids. And last, just anything we can do to laugh...makes your kids (and you) wanna be around each other more. Just some thoughts!
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DeleteGreat words, Paul! Wish our families weren't 2500 miles apart so we could share a little bit of life. Guess we'll have to wait for eternity! I have followed your blog and love hearing about what God is doing in your lives!
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